The mantra of recent reflections of my past year has been LEARNING. Learning, learning, learning. Constantly, everyday evolving and growing... acculturating, giving self-care, loving and living with community-mates, getting an education in teaching primary school, learning Kiswahili (the language spoken here), forming, maintaining and navigating relationships, and then looking back at what’s happened to me over the past year- where I’ve been and the person I’ve become and who I hope to be in the next year here and then beyond.
I am in a transition phase of finishing up my first year and moving onto a second year of JVC in Tanzania. I will say goodbye to my second-year community-mate and welcome two new JVs in December, as well as finish my first year of teaching at Gonzaga Primary School
Our entire JV Tanzania community had our re-orientation/dis-orientation retreat two/three weeks ago now which was both beautiful and challenging in many aspects. It was difficult to say goodbye to a year here and look back on all of the things that I both failed and succeeded in. It was wonderful in the sense that I was able to really re-commit myself to my goals and vision for coming here, and enter this second year rejuvenated and ready to live in loving intentionality. It was also painful to say goodbye to a fellow JV who is a second year in Moshi, TZA. I won’t see her again until we are both back in the States in over a year. She has been a person that I've connected to deeply during my time here and I will miss her sisterhood immensely. I feel like I am losing a lifeline; a grounding presence. She has been there when life abroad has seemed a little isolating at times. However, loneliness is a challenge that I've faced both here and at home. It is simply magnified in this context without the usual tools to both suppress it (unhealthy) and combat it (healthy). Therefore, I’m learning to rely on/strengthen other areas within myself: a deeper spirituality and an emphasis on self-care. These are areas where I feel I am being FORMED, certainly in ways that were unanticipated and that are still unknown to me. I trust that I will continue learning about my own formation as I continue my time in Tanzania.
Overall, I am finding that I am being balanced. I like to think of it as continually moving toward that which is complete; a more encompassing, gentle, self-knowing self; a deeper understanding of God. Slow, tender work, that reminds me: never stop learning.
